Jesus tells us to love our enemies, but anyone who has ever had a conflict with another person and considers them an “enemy” knows this is much easier said than done.
So what is an enemy in the 21st century?
Maybe it’s a coworker, maybe your boss is doing everything they can to make your life as difficult as possible, or maybe it’s a family member who you have strife with.
At the end of the day, as a Christian, you are commanded to love your enemies.
1. Recognize The Pain Your Enemy has Caused You
Before you can begin to heal from the pain your enemy has caused you, you must first recognize the pain.
Answer the following questions.
When (name of “enemy) does this (action causing upset to you), I feel (______________________).
For example:
“When my boss micromanages everything I do, I feel frustrated and inadequate to do my job in his eyes.”
Take the pain you feel, in this example (frustrated, inadequate) and now bring it down to the child-like vulnerable emotion.
Frustrated/inadquate = childlike emotion would be sad.
Your boss makes you feel sad.
Sit with that tender emotion, and try to give yourself comfort. This may seem cooky but it works.
Example:
“Leah, I’m sorry that your boss makes you feel sad. You are not inadequate at your job — you are amazing!”
Yes, actually talk to yourself. Give yourself whatever comfort you need. Validate your own feelings from this pain of your enemy.
2. Forgive Your Enemy
Once you have recognized your pain, brought it down to its child-like emotion, comforted yourself, it’s time to forgive.
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21-22
Christ forgave us, and we are commanded to forgive others–even if they don’t deserve it.
Jesus whispered on the cross, “Lord forgive them for they know not what they do.”
If Christ can forgive the very people who crucified him, then you can forgive your enemy too.
3. Pray for Your Enemy
It is very hard to be mad at someone when you pray for them. Praying for your enemies is one of the most powerful things you can do to release the control of them over your life.
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
Matthew 5:44
I encourage you to pray for them. It will be hard. And it might even be painful, but do it anyway. It’s hard to hold resentment towards someone as you lift their name up in prayer.
4. Ask God To Help Deliver Your From Your Enemy
Pray about your specific situation. Have you prayed that God would deliver you from your enemy?
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Psalm 27:6
The Israelites were set free from the Egypt, Joseph was rescued from the pit, and David was delivered from the hand of his enemies.
In the LORD’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him.
Proverbs 21:1
God can change the heart of Pharaoh, then he can change the heart of your enemy, too.
Ask him.
It might not happen overnight, but eventually, God will show up in a mighty way.
5. Understand Where Your Enemy Is Coming From
There’s this story about how a mean dog becomes this mean dog.
When she was a puppy, she was abused and hurt. Her owner would yell at her day in and day out.
Now take a look at the adult dog. It’s constantly growling and ready to attack.
Does this make you look at the dog differently?
Is your enemy a hurt puppy, looking to bring others down with them?
If you looked with binoculars into your enemies heart, I bet what you find would surprise you.
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:36
Have compassion for your enemy.
What does God say about loving your enemies?
God says to love your enemies throughout many passages of scripture.
Then Jesus said, “Father forgive them for, they know not what they do.” And they divided has garmets up by casting lots.
Luke 23:34
Jesus led by example and loved his enemies– even upon his death on the cross. He prayed for them as they crucified him.
Love your neighbor as your love yourself.
Mark 12:31
Your “neighbor” is your friends, your family, and your enemies. God calls you to love everyone the same way you love yourself.
What does it mean to love your enemies?
To love your enemies means to pray for them, forgive them, and turn the other cheek.
Give the situation with your enemy to God, and trust Him.
He works all things for your good (Romans 8:28) — so allow this process to grow you into something beautiful. He can use even the worst situations to prune you and show you new amazing things.
Love your enemy.
