— Spiritual Growth —

3 Tips To Help You Forgive Others

March 13, 2018
white pebbles

Are you struggling to forgive someone who has hurt you? Check out these three tips for forgiveness.

We know that the Bible tells us to forgive. Jesus says to forgive those who hurt you 70 X 7.

(Matthew 18:21-22)

The Bible also tells us to forgive each other, just as our Father in heaven has forgiven you.

(Ephesians 4:32)

3 Tips for Forgiveness

Jesus demonstrated forgiveness many times through his life on earth. Even up to the point of death on the cross. Jesus asks God the Father to forgive them the moment he was being crucified.

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Luke 23:34

So, how can you forgive those who have hurt you?

1. Ask God To Help You Forgive

The first tip for forgiveness is to ask God to help you! To forgive people who have deeply hurt you is not easy—but it is so worth it for the freedom you will gain.

“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened.”

Matthew 7: 7-8

Ask him to help you forgive.

 2. Know You Are Commanded to Forgive

The next tip for forgiveness is to recognize that you are commanded to forgive. Maybe you’re wondering why you even have to forgive in the first place.  As Christians, Christ commands us to forgive. 

“Forgive and you shall be forgiven.”

Luke 6:37

“Be kind to one another, tended-hearted, forgiving one another just as Christ forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:31-32

How can we expect Jesus to forgive us, if we cannot forgive our neighbor?

We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are not forgiving those around us, then we are not truly loving them.

When I struggle to forgive someone, I quickly remind myself of how utterly imperfect I am. So, of course, the people in your life are going to fall short as well. Forgive them. Show them grace, as you have been shown grace.

3. It’s Okay if You Can’t Forgive and Forget

You might not be able to forget, but you are able to forgive.  We must forgive even if we can’t forget.

I’m reminded of a story in the book of Acts. There is a man named Stephen. Stephen is known for being the first martyr–the first person to die for the cause of Christ.

Stephen Demonstrates Forgiveness

“When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul. While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. Then he fell on his knees and cried out, Lord, do not hold this sin against them. When he had said this, he fell asleep.”

Acts 7:54-60 NIV

Stephen prayed for the Lord to forgive them in the midst of him being killed.

Wow. That’s powerful.

I don’t know about you, but if someone came into my home, shot me with a bullet—my last breath would not be “Father, forgive them.”

This act of forgiveness speaks volumes about Stephen’s faith and his nearness to Jesus.

It’s no doubt that Stephen was full of the love of God.

Ask God to help you and be inspired by Stephen, the first martyr, a man who displayed a beautiful example of forgiveness.

And most importantly, remember Jesus who shed his blood on the cross to forgive you of your sins. None of us deserve that forgiveness, but he gives it to us anyway.

16 thoughts on “3 Tips To Help You Forgive Others”

  1. I love the story of Stephen as well. It always convicts me about whether I would have the same response if I were in that situation. He had such a passionate love for the Savior. You brought out such good points! Thanks for sharing this.

  4. Thank you so much for these wonderful words of encouragement to “Forgive” those who have deeply hurt us. I needed this myself and I know of a few others that I have passed it along to. I would love to receive your blogs regularly. I appreciate this so much! Kellie Duke

  6. Thank you for sharing. May I say that as we forgive others, we need to include ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves. Oftentimes the enemy can make one feel that they have messed up so many times that God has abandoned us. His love is the greatest power ever.

    1. I cannot imagine that pain! However, Jesus did forgive the prostitute when the people where trying to stone her.

  9. I have done extensive research on forgiveness in the Bible and you might be surprised what forgiveness actually is.

    Forgiveness is an accounting term. Just like checks and balances, assets and liabilities, forgiveness is the same. Just like Christians say that the debt has been paid by Jesus, forgiveness carries the same connotation–because Jesus is about forgiveness.

    Forgiveness is when we hold on to what that person “owes” us. When someone has hurt you or done an injustice, we of course, want something in return. It may be an apology, an acknowledgement that we’ve been hurt, for the person to go to jail, etc. But since we won’t always get that (this is why God tells us in His Word that we should confront people and tell them when they have hurt us to seek reconciliation if possible), we are to give the debt over to God and let HIM handle what is owed. We forget that God is the Just Judge, and He knows all the facts and what has happened and He will judge and handle the debt without partiality. We don’t handle things partially because we only tell and know our side of the story.

    We are told in the Bible, that vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord (Romans 12:19) and that He WILL handle all injustices. That is a certainty.

    Stephen in this Biblical account is giving full debt of what has been done to him to the Lord. He is acknowledging that what had been done to him, similar to His Lord and Savior, Jesus, was being done to him. Just like Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”, Stephen was echoing Jesus, because as it says in Acts 7:55 that Stephen was FULL OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. Having the same Spirit as Jesus, Stephen was able to fully surrender what had happened to him to God, releasing the entire debt to Him. Stephen even goes so far as to pleading to the Just Judge, not to hold this sin against them (v. 60). Wow, now that’s complete surrender to God and asking for mercy on their behalf! Perhaps the mere fact that these murderous people were giving Stephen the biggest gift of all…to be in the presence of His Savior, Jesus, also gave Stephen the ability to release the debt to God…they were doing Stephen a favor!

    In our own personal lives and in reading this account, this is a man who was stoned to death for telling the truth. This isn’t about someone being nasty with remarks, cutting you off on the highway or being treated rudely by a waitress or store clerk. We have no idea the horrible injustices that have been done to one another like Stephen, moreover in this case, murder, that constitutes asking God to truly release any offenders of the debt that is owed. I cant think of anything harder.

    I pray that my comments will offer, addition insights to keeping no matter what the degree of the offense, in perspective in letting God handle all injustices because that is EXACTLY what Jesus came for. He paid the debt that we, or anyone else, cannot pay.

    1. Wow! I’ve never thought of it this way. Thank you so much for taking the time to write and explain all of this !

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