The Bible shows us how God designed marriage to be, and how husband and wife are supposed to treat each other. 

Unfortunately, we are all human. Eventually, every couple is going to have an argument. 

Nobody is perfect, and your spouse will eventually disappoint you.

And when they do, it might feel as if you’ve been stabbed in the back by your best friend.

So, what’s the answer for couples fighting?  The answer to everything is found in the bible- God’s living Word!

Bible Verses About Husband and Wife Arguing

These scriptures will help heal your marriage, if you choose to follow what they teach. It may not be easy, but it will be so worth it.

Bible verses for Arguments with Spouse New Testament

1. Encourage and build up your marriage

So encourage each other and build each other up just as you are already doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Chose to focus on encouraging your spouse, instead of bringing them down.

2. Live at peace with your spouse

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Romans 12:18

This isn’t just a fun guideline, but it should be a pillar on how you live your life and approach your marriage. Do absolutely all YOU can to leave at peace with your husband or wife!

3. Pursue peace

So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another.

Romans 14:19

Another great example of actively choosing to live and pursue peace within your relationships.

4. Live out the fruits of the spirit in your marriage

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

If you’re constantly fighting with your husband, take this time to reflect on how your individual relationship with the Holy Spirit is. When we abide in Christ, the fruits of his spirit will flow naturally through us. While you can’t change your spouse, you can go to the one who will change you.

5. Honor your husband above yourself

Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:2-4

It’s human nature to think about ourselves first! But in order to have a successful marriage — you have to do the exact opposite. Honor your husband above yourself. Consider his needs above yours! This is a beautiful example of love. (And just imagine how beautifully this works when you spouse is treating you in the same manner!)

6. Speak with love

Instead, by speaking the truth in love, we will grow up completely and become one with the head, that is, one with the Messiah.

Ephesians 4:15

Speak the truth with love towards your husband. This bible verse for couples fighting tells us to love. It’s okay to have a disagreement, but don’t be harsh with your words. Let the things that you say have a meaning and purpose — love.

7. Pray for your marriage

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

Have you and your spouse sat down together to pray about your fighting? Don’t get too caught up in the “problem” to not go to the solution–Christ. It’s easy to overlook praying together as husband and wife, but this is one of the most powerful things you can do to help your marriage.

8. Listen to one another

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to get angry.

James 1:19

This one stings a little bit! Quick to listen and slow to anger?! It’s so much easier to interrupt and get heated than it is to be slow to anger and actually listen to what your spouse is saying.

9. Arguments won’t produce anything good

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

 2 Timothy 2:23-24

I believe this particular bible verse for arguing is referring to theological debates, but nevertheless, intense fights with your husband are not wise. Typically the “problem” is not the PROBLEM. If you are arguing over why he hasn’t done any chores around the house — think about what the actual deeper issue is.

10. Arguments often bring destruction

Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.

2 Timothy 2:14

Again, don’t waste your time arguing, because it just brings damage to your marriage.

11. Do not complain

Do everything without complaining and arguing.

Philippians 2:14

Do everything without complaining. Yikes! That is asking too much, God!

I challenge you to be intentional and not complain to, or about your husband. How different will your situation look for you?

12. Forgive your husband as Christ forgave you

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13

Has God not forgiven you for every single one of your sins? A marriage works so well whenever we can forgive each other. And even if your husband choses not to forgive you, you can still choose to forgive him. There is POWER in forgiveness. Check out these 3 Tips for Forgiveness.

13. If your husband hurts you deeply, don’t take revenge

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

Romans 12:19

Leave this into God’s hands. If your husband has deeply betrayed you, don’t try and pay him back. It will only come back to bite you.

14. Let God handle it

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

Romans 12:17

A restatement of the previous verse. As a Christian, try and live your life and your marriage in a way that honors God.

Verse about arguing with spouse Old Testament

While most of the bible verses about fighting with your husband found here are from the New Testament, here are several from the Old Testament that are just as powerful!

15. Remember your marriage is good

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Genesis 2:18

God created marriage! He doesn’t want us to be alone. Have that mindset as you approach your husband.

16. Be careful what you say with your words

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

We are held accountable for everything that we say and do. Pray this prayer! Let the words of your mouth and the thoughts of your heart be acceptable in the sight of God! Even in disagreement with your husband. Remember this!

17. The things we say are powerful

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 12:18

Is arguing with your husband bringing healing? Be careful with what you say.

18. Restrain your words

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

Proverbs 17:27

Guess what–you don’t have to say everything you are thinking in the middle of a fight with your spouse! Restrain words that will bring pain. If you need to separate yourself and cool down, that’s okay too. My husband and I have to do this any time we get into a disagreement and are about to say things we don’t mean.

If either one of us says, “I need some space.” We respect that and leave the other person alone for a while.

19. Be patient and forgiving

A person with good sense is patient, and it is to his credit that he overlooks an offense.

Proverbs 19:11

Overlook the offense of your spouse. Don’t harbor it inside and pretend to let it go, but really let it go. I used to get so worked up over my husband not taking out the trash when it was full.

It became a point of contention between us.

But guess what.

I have chosen to just let it go.

Or I take the trash out myself! Ha!

20. Again, be slow to anger

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

Proverbs 14:29

If you haven’t noticed yet, several of these bible verses for couples arguing talk about being slow to anger. I wonder why! Are you easily angered or slow to anger? Which would be more beneficial in your marriage?

What Does the Bible Say About Couples Fighting?

Key points are: forgiveness, love, and thinking about the other person above yourself. It’s easy to list these ideas off, but another to actually live them out in your marriage.

Even if your spouse isn’t treating you in this way, it’s still your job to treat them with love. You cannot control how they treat you, but you can control your own actions.

This book on love and respect has helped my husband and I tremendously in our marriage!

Another resource that has helped my marriage has been learning about the different love languages.

Free printable bible verses about couples fighting pdf